I read a couple of pages, then hit a quote that made me stop reading and simply stare at the page.The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most.I read and reread that sentence perhaps a dozen times. I closed the book and simply stared out the window at the tarmac, barely registering the planes that were moving about on the runways, taxiways, and ramps. If Merton was right, I’d been approaching my life exactly backwards. I was so absorbed in thinking about that quote that I didn’t hear the loudspeaker announcing Jennifer’s flight. I had been oblivious to everything around me until I felt a hand shaking my shoulder.“Steve!” Jennifer Block said loudly.I shook my head to clear it, and stood up and hugged Jennifer tightly. We exchanged a quick kiss and happy pleasantries then headed to. The problem began there after, as soon as I was getting ready to leave the toilets he said "make sure your here same time next week" so I happily stated if "I was nearby I would pop-in" and then he quipped "if you don't turn up next week i'll tell your friends you are a little queer" and with that the smile on my face dis-appeared and was replaced with the scary thoughts of this obligation, I met him over and over for several weeks with the same repetitive activity taking place with the only big difference was I no longer enjoyed it so I somehow managed to gain a bit of a compromise about when we would meet to the extent of at least once a week but on any day at 7pm and then after a few months I managed to change the meeting place to an outdoor venue, I sort of enjoyed it a little with the change of venue but the constant threat about telling my friends my filthy secret was getting me down.The meetings were becoming so mundane and predictable I was just going through the motions so.
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